See Saw Fun

Over the past few days, I’ve been listening to the exchanges between my daughter and my husband. Each morning, it’s the same line from him: “I’m going to take a shower first.” He’s been ensuring he goes before her, and while it made sense—he had pressing schedules, and she’s on term break—I wanted to step in and say, “Stop. Why the need to keep waiting or asking for permission to jump into the shower?” Also I wanted to point out that there is another bathroom in the house. That said, it didn’t really need my intervention.

It did, however, remind me of my own habits and patterns, which often began with that simple gesture of, “Yes, you go first.” The act of stepping aside for the other kept being repeated. What started as a small “sure, go ahead” eventually turned into consistently putting others’ needs ahead of my own. How can we dance together in a dynamic of give and take, without one partner feeling the need to always compromise and give in to the other’s “me first” and self-preservation requirements?

In any relationship—whether it is between teens, with a spouse, or business colleagues—there’s a natural dance of give and take. Like a seesaw, both sides take turns: sometimes you’re soaring, sometimes always on the ground, or you find a balance where you’re both lifted together. Don’t worry, I won’t get into the whole torque and equilibrium physics discussion on how to achieve that balance on a see saw!

When we look at the purpose of the see-saw – it  was to create a fun and interactive experience for children that allowed them to experience a rocking motion useful in developing their balance and coordination. The see-saw consists of a long wooden plank that is balanced on a fulcrum with two seats on either end and essentially acts as a lever.

At the center of the seesaw is the fulcrum; without it, it wouldn’t be a seesaw but simply a wooden plank. Without it, there would be no ability for both sides to have the adventurous motion. The fulcrum is a perfect metaphor for two people in a relationship, representing the solid lever that allows fun adventure, movement and harmony. 

As we all know, relationships can often get stuck when it comes to compromise and harmony, requiring us to explore and discover what works for both parties. Can we find a fulcrum that provides balance and stability as we navigate the journey of making relationships more fun, adventurous, and learning the art of give and take? Here’s a fulcrum acronym to consider:

F – Flexibility: Be willing to adapt and adjust to changing needs. While we can’t bend and twist to meet every demand, we can certainly be flexible and adjust when necessary.

U – Unity: Cultivate a shared purpose and harmony. Unity goes beyond togetherness; it’s about standing as one, with a unified voice, striving toward a higher purpose.

L – Longevity: Prioritize relationship growth for longevity, not just self-preservation, survival, and self-interest.

C – Core Needs: Honor both sides, ensuring no one sacrifices their core needs. Sacrificing self core needs for the sake of the relationship can be detrimental. True balance means giving without losing what’s essential for oneself.

R – Reliability: Be dependable and consistent for both yourself and the other. Be a safe and trustworthy presence for each other.

U – Upliftment: Celebrate each other’s successes and actively support one another. Celebrating both individual and partnership milestones enhances the bond in the relationship.

M – Mutual Support: Ensure both partners are mutually supported. When both partners’ dreams are valued and supported, this creates a balanced path for mutual growth and sustenance.

I do love the seesaw! Let’s go; a beautiful adventure awaits us!