This week, just as I had things in a beautiful new order and flow, the plot twist happened.
Mom asked me for help with dad as he was not coherent. Taking one look at what was in front of me made me reach for my phone and call for an ambulance. He either had a heart attack or stroke and we needed assistance. The paramedics were here in the next few minutes and he was taken to hospital and put into ICU.
That day and the ones following it, are a blur of calls and logistics. Yes, dad has had TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) before. This is a short and temporary loss of blood-flow to the brain, resulting in no recollection of those moments and some disorientation. We have gotten used to this happening – infrequently – and now came the big kahuna. Tests reveal that he suffered a severe heart attack and has about 30% heart function remaining.
I feel that the sudden turn of events is somehow still reverberating through me on some level. I have come through many challenging times in the past few years and was just getting my life on track and enjoying some greater ease. Now this. Its an emotional rollercoaster and its important for me to return to and maintain my equilibrium.
What is of great benefit is carrying on with my work in the day and above all, keeping MY big picture for my life in the forefront while being of support to my family. Knowing that my life is important and it matters, has helped bridge the gap between the family chaos and my inner peace. Looking after myself is paramount as I can be a wholesome support to those around me who are in fear.
Our family life changed in a heartbeat. We are adjusting and navigating this new territory with as much grace as possible. I am determined to live my life in the fullest way I can.
Beyoncé says it best in her song ‘I was Here’. This is currently my theme song, to remind me of just how precious every breath and heartbeat is.
