Have you ever been so disappointed with something or someone that you felt physical pain, sadness, anger, or frustration?
We all have experienced disappointment in one way or another.
And through my own experiences, I realized there are two types of disappointment. In this post, I will share how to handle the disappointment, and how to get over it so it doesn’t affect you in the long run.
These are little tricks that I came up with to tame my own wild mind, starting from my time in prison. Yep, you heard that right! A former New York State attorney turned inmate, all thanks to my own choices. Now, I am here to show you how to get out of your own way to achieve your desired outcomes!
I will begin by addressing the first type of disappointments that are easily foreseen and avoided. Because those often result from unrealistic expectations that don’t align with reality. Such discrepancies in expectations are the common source of problems in relationships, whether they involve spouses, parents, and children, or work-related matters. They occur when one person’s expectations about another’s behavior or actions are not in sync with each other.
I usually joke with my coaching clients when we speak about having unrealistic expectations that: expecting your lap dog to guard your sheep from wolves will only result in disappointment.
The second type, there are disappointments arising from circumstances beyond our control, that we try to control, like acts of nature or unforeseen events. From my experience, examples range from being stuck in traffic to more serious situations like going to prison or the sudden passing of a close relative. When we are caught up in these situations, we resist the change and we often create exaggerated stories about what happened and mostly why that keeps us stuck in a vicious cycle.
Now, for both types, there are three steps to deal with the energy of disappointment and prevent it from affecting our lives.
- Awareness and Acceptance
When you’re disappointed, reflect on whether it’s because of unrealistic expectations or unforeseen circumstances. The first step is acknowledging and accepting what happened for what is. Try to stay true to the facts, not to the story you create about it. Give yourself time to process it. Each disappointment offers a chance for personal growth and healing.
2. Adjust and Redirect
Consider how you can adjust your goals, intentions, expectations and life, depending on the situation you are dealing with. Sometimes unexpected events push us onto the right path without even knowing. Rather than feeling disappointed, or trying to control what happened, use the happening to refine your strategies, set new goals, and adapt your moving forward plans accordingly.
3. Be Kind to Yourself and Keep Going
Take the time you need to recover. Then, keep going trusting that everything is working out in your favor. With an open mind, free from limiting beliefs and behaviors, you can achieve your desired outcomes.
Dealing with disappointment is a natural part of life. With awareness and acceptance, we can lessen its impact over time.
In the comments below let me know what was one disappointing situation you experienced that affected your life.
