I’ve been single for longer than I was married, and I was married for 16 years.
That’s almost two decades of being answerable only to myself. From finances to food, triumphs to disasters, the buck stopped and started with me.
My adult son once asked if I’d ever get married again, and my answer was a resounding NO!
“You really can’t be that self-ish, Mom,” he said.
Yes, I can. I really can.
Being married with two little children, he understands the sacrifices and rewards of a committed lifelong relationship and wants that idea of happiness for me. Yes, I see the benefits of being in a fulfilling partnership. But am I willing to risk my sovereignty for it? Or compromise it? Or fight for it? Am I willing to put in the effort?
Solo entrepreneurship is much like the freedom of being single. That’s why we choose it—for the freedom to do as we please, when we want, and how we want.
And a business collaboration is much like marriage. It’s an intricate dance of autonomy and compromise, unconditional love for self and unconditional love for another, merging future visions with different views and values, and figuring out how to create a partnership where we’re part of a whole while still whole as individuals.
It’s not for everyone. There’s no right or wrong, just the sovereignty to choose.
Sometimes, we have to try a few times before we finally find the balance between freedom and partnership, a few rounds of give and take. And like marriage, we may also decide that it’s just not for us.
For now, anyway.
Yes, is the carriage being pulled by the horse or by the man and if two are on the reigns are they pulling this together? Let us maybe call it “interdependent sovereignty.“
Interesting question, Amor! And what about the carriage? It has no say in where it’s being taken.
It could symbolize the tools we use to take us to our destination.
Another interesting topic.
I was struck by the concept that choosing to be independent and single is selfish.
It something that has raised it’s head many times over the years relating to relationships and choices around parenthood. I feel that expecting others to make one complete or fill some kind of hole is selfish, taking responsibility for ones own actions and happiness something other than selfish.
However, I guess it’s just a different perspective, “There’s no right or wrong, just the sovereignty to choose.”
There are so many opinions on how we choose to live our lives by people who have no bearing on it, Louise.
For myself, I’ve made peace with being selfish in some areas of my life, and in other areas I’m willing to be subservient. As long as my action or inaction doesn’t hurt or harm myself or others, it’s nobody’s business really.
An interesting topic, indeed. Thank you for sharing your insights.
An insightful look at the value of personal independence, Allison. I have never really considered the comparison of business collaborations to marriage before, and it shows the challenges of balancing autonomy and compromise in any partnership. Embracing solitude or seeking a balanced partnership? . It’s a reminder that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to personal or professional fulfillment, we make our decisions on what works for us.
We are in partnership with everything in our lives. Having sovereignty for me means making choices in all areas of my life for that which serves me and the greater good and not according to other people’s expectations or what they think I should or should not be doing with my life 🙂