All is well – Unpacking Spiritual Bypassing

On our last Vibrational Marketing Institute call with the founding members, the topic selected for discussion and for us to explore or write about was Spiritual Bypassing. I shook my head and said, “Oh no.”

I barely grasped the full definition of this term. Though it has been circulating for a while, the term was fairly new to me, and I wasn’t sure I fully understood it.  It has something to do with spirituality and avoidance.

In the hours following the meeting, I decided to dive into various sources of information and teachings on this subject. I discovered some interesting insights; some even believe there is no such thing as Spiritual Bypassing after one is aware and doesn’t side step the emotion or situation but faces it head on.

The term was coined by the late psychologist John Welwood in 1984. For me a clear definition was required to better understand this concept and here is a summary of what I found:

Spiritual bypassing is when people use spirituality to avoid confronting deep-seated emotional challenges, psychological pain, and necessary personal growth. It involves using spiritual beliefs, practices, and even positive affirmations to silence and escape from uncomfortable feelings, unresolved issues, and the hard work of true self-awareness.

Given the term “spiritual,” does this apply only to spiritual leaders and highly spiritual people? And since it was coined by a psychologist, could it also mean we are delving into psychology?

Here are more thoughts to unpack this. Do I, or many others, use spirituality to avoid, silence, or run away from dealing with emotions or actions that are required?

Examples of ordinary conversations that could be – Spiritual Bypassing

Student: “I didn’t study for the test, but I believe in a higher presence. I will be well taken care of, and everything happens for the best, I have faith in my inner wisdom.”

Perhaps this example might not fully illustrate spiritual bypassing. However I am exploring this to look at it in this angle. Relying solely on our inner wisdom with the belief that “everything happens for the best” could lead to potential consequences and opposite desired outcome.

After an incident with a spouse: “I’m too afraid to deal with this hurtful situation for fear of xyz; let’s or I will just focus on staying positive and avoid any form of confrontation.”

So, in this context what is being avoided? The confrontation itself and addressing the hurt/fear. Can using positive affirmations or the excuse to stay in the positive to shield and avoid working through fears be spiritual bypassing? I am certainly one of those who have tried to avoid confrontation a lot of times and bottling up emotions until they become overwhelming. When I later attempt to handle these emotions, they do not always lead to me dealing with the situation gracefully. That said, when so much else is going on—such as the kids and their needs, managing schedules, maintaining the home, and dealing with external social and work events—stopping to resolve and explore hurts isn’t usually the obvious or ideal choice in a world where there is already so much to juggle.

All is well: “I am a positive being of love and light, and this pain and hurt is something that will soon pass.”

Whether or not we fully understand or accept the concept of spiritual bypassing, we will encounter situations and conflicts that make us feel uncomfortable, or unworthy. It is easy to rely on mysticism, spirituality, and extreme positive wishful thinking to create a comforting escape from reality.

As much as I’ve often heard and said ‘All is well,’ and it usually is, it is also good to keep our feet grounded on the here and now.  Make the time to address and face and explore the deeper truths that often leads to inspired action. In spite of all these reflections, maintaining positivity will always be a beautiful way to encourage and instill a sense of calm and peace.